hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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