i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
