First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
