no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
