Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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