Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
