the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
