You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
