just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
