I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
