I hate all girls vehemently.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
