ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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