how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
