so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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