I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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