Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
