ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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