Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
