Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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