Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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