i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
