Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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