I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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