thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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