he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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