You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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