I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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