just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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