Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
