I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
either way he was missing a nipple.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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