I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
