As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
