He felt like a one man threesome
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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