dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
