Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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