Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
