I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
