Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
