Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize