Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
