he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
