we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
