Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She bit a glass in half.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
