this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
