When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
