You're so nebulous sometimes
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
