New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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