this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
