matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
