he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
