what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
