i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
