Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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